The decision to get divorced is a big one. It requires foresight into your financial circumstances, and your own physical and psychological well-being. Divorce can also reduce the amount of time that you get to spend with your children, forcing you to contemplate how to create a child custody arrangement that’s right for you and your kids.
With so much on the line, it can be hard to navigate the process. Yet, for many individuals contemplating divorce, figuring out how to break the news of their marriage’s dissolution to their children is the hardest thing to do. After all, your children might be happy with life as they know it, and divorce is sure to upend their sense of normalcy and change their perceptions of the world around them.
That’s certainly something stressful to think about, but breaking the news of divorce to your children doesn’t have to as life-altering as it may seem to be. Sure, you can expect to see your children face some challenges, but there are steps that you can take to minimize the impact and protect their overall well-being.
Tips for breaking the news of divorce to your children
There are a million ways you can tell your children that you and your spouse are getting divorced. While there isn’t one right way to do it, there are some broad tips that you should consider implementing to dull the blow your children might experience. This includes:
- Having a plan: If you sit your children down to tell them about your divorce without having a plan as far as how to frame your marriage dissolution or how to explain what to expect, then you’re bound to say something that you don’t mean or that’s taken harshly by your children. This can cause them a lot of emotional turmoil that’s otherwise avoidable. So, before you talk to your children, make sure you and your spouse know how you want to break the news, frame the divorce, and reassure your children that everything is going to be okay.
- Discussing what won’t change: Divorce threatens to upend life as your children know it. And they may react poorly if they sense that their world is shrouded in chaos. To avoid this, you and your spouse should find ways to maintain consistency and stability in your children’s lives. This might include keeping them in their same school and the same extracurricular activities, and it might mean keeping the same household rules and discipline structure.
- Avoiding negativity: You might have a lot of negative feelings about your spouse, but you shouldn’t bring those out when you’re talking about divorce with your children. Avoid blaming the other spouse, too. Instead, reassure your children that you and your spouse both love them and that it’s important for them to spend valuable time with each parent, assuming that it’s safe for them to do so.
- Allowing your children to express themselves: Your children are bound to experience a wide variety of emotions after you tell them of your intent to divorce. Allow them to feel those emotions and express them in a healthy fashion. Let your children ask questions about the divorce, too, so that they can feel like they have a say in what their life will look like post-divorce.
Protect yourself and your children throughout your divorce proceedings
There’s certainly a lot at stake when you decide to get divorced. And you have to properly navigate the process while aggressively advocating for yourself and your children if you want to achieve a positive outcome. There are ways to position yourself for success. You simply have to know the law and how to build compelling legal arguments that speak to the elements in play and your and your children’s best interests. If you need help crafting your arguments, then now is the time to educate yourself and find the resources and support you need.