When parents go through a divorce, they often make the difficult choice to separate, usually thinking about finances, housing or personal differences; but few prepare for the pain of being apart from their child. Additionally, custody laws can be confusing and many parents rely on assumptions that are not true.
Understanding the truth behind these three common child custody myths can help you protect your relationship with your child and make informed decisions.
1. Myth: The mother always gets custody
Some people believe mothers automatically get custody. Hawaii law treats mothers and fathers equally. Courts focus on the best interests of the child, looking at emotional bonds, stability and the child’s needs. Both parents can request custody. Judges often favor joint arrangements when they benefit the child. Knowing this can help both mothers and fathers advocate for a meaningful role in their child’s life.
2. Myth: Custody automatically means equal time
Many parents think joint custody equals a 50/50 schedule. In reality, legal custody and physical custody are treated separately. Legal custody is the authority to make big decisions, such as those about education and health. Physical custody dictates where the child lives and how time is shared. Courts plan schedules based on the child’s age, school, activities and family circumstances. Even if one parent has primary physical custody, the other parent can remain an active presence, whether through legal or physical custody.
3. Myth: Custody arrangements are permanent
Some parents fear that custody orders cannot be modified. But in reality, state law allows changes if a parent shows a substantial change in circumstances. This could include a move, a new work schedule or the child’s evolving needs. Courts will consider whether the change is in the child’s best interests. Documenting changes and keeping open communication can make future adjustments smoother.
Divorce and custody challenges are emotional and complex. But understanding the truth behind these myths gives parents reassurance and control of the situation.
Seek guidance for your family’s situation
Every family’s circumstances are different, and what works for one child may not work for another. Consulting a Hawaii family law attorney can provide the right guidance you need to make decisions that truly serve your child’s best interests.